A New Composition

I'm writing from a very dark place. I reflected on the most prolific period of writing I had had (my late teens/early twenties) for almost a decade and wondered why I couldn't re-create that period. I guess we have to be careful what we wish for.


Begin The End (Alan McStravick, 2009)

I’ve cleaned myself
and cut my hair
I’m ready now to begin
the end

Angel of mercy
what was my sin?
Let me bring an end
to this life that couldn’t begin

I know I cannot live
on hope alone
But without hope
life is not worth living

And I’ve been living
for far too long without it
Angel of mercy
grant me a final respite

Who comes for me?
Who runs to my door?
A hopeless existence
a future bleak as grey
is one not worth living for

You’ve seen my pain
and learned to live with it
But that’s a lesson I never learned
and I’m ready now to begin
the end

You see, the starter pistol
fired off
and I was asleep in my bed
unable to live this life
and worse
unable to be led
to do the right thing

Don’t worry for me
I’ve just been dying slowly
and acceleration is a mercy
to my time to go…
free now from the pain
and the knowledge
this was a non-start
a story with no plot
no hero
no villain
just a pathetic character
in a pathetic work of art

I’m ready now to begin
the end